I cannot function correctly unless I am here writing on a regular basis. At the urging of my daughter, I've come back to this blog.
This has been an awful time. I am either severely ill or am having panic attacks so intense that they border on destructive.
I had an earache on Tuesday, stayed home from work, and ended up going to urgent care. I really just wanted the doctor to listen to my carotid arteries to make sure they weren't clogged and I wasn't two steps away from a stroke, if truth be told.
He looked in my ears, no infection. He listened to my heart and lungs and neck arteries and said everything sounded great.
I have pins and needles in my hands when I sleep on a regular basis, I think there may be a pinched nerve somewhere or the pressure my weight causes this to happen.
This morning I had pins and needles in my upper left hand side of my face to say I was scared was an understatement. On this new bed I am so comfortable I don't shift positions for hours so I can easily understand why it happens in my hands. But the face things pushed me into a panic attack that almost got way out of hand.
I have many wonderful things in my life, a good marriage with a great man, good kids who are working on getting their lives together, a home, a job, everything that everyone works so hard for so why do I feel so guilty? As if because I have abused my body and not taken care of my health I am undeserving of happiness and success.
Once again I am getting closer to one of the greatest weight barriers I have....getting down to 299. Yesterday I weighed 304.2
I am two and half pounds away from where I was right before Christmas, when I just chucked everything in the shitter and let it all get away from me.

Yoga feels great, it is my reward and time of meditation. And now that illness and cold is over I need to start walking again.
Simple steps on a consistent basis create successful achievement.