I'm here...it's been a bit of a rougher holiday than I had anticipated but I'm here. I did put a few pounds back on over the holiday, 5 to be exact, but I'm ok with that. I still had an overall loss for the year, 12 pounds to be exact.

I learned some things about myself over the holiday, I love my children, I do, but I'm ready to have some time with just the old man and myself. I need to recharge and spend some time focusing on what we want as a couple and as individuals. We were only married nine months when I got pregnant with our daughter and while I am happy that we were able to have our kids so young, I've been taking care of children for almost 25 years, we've never had a span of time with just us besides when the children went to governors school one summer and honestly that was nice.

I found myself little to no time for myself between work, cooking, cleaning, and just the emotional exhaustion of the event. I had a good time, it was great to see my children, but my youngest brought home his girlfriend and while she seems like a decent enough person, she was not ready or mature enough to handle meeting the boyfriends family. On that level, it was a wee bit disappointing and honestly my son at this point is also not mature enough to successfully navigate the requirements of a serious relationship. But that's why we are all young once to learn and make mistakes and grow.

My second oldest deploys out tomorrow for nine long months but as his life will be changing, so will mine. My goal for this year is to lose 70 pounds and end the year at 237 by doing it one day at a time, one step at a time, and one meal at a time.

Right now I am just about finished getting the house clean and together and tonight there will  yoga before bed. I'm looking to create a balance between working out, keeping organized and painting. I need to be well rounded to be happy!! and I need to stay on top of the little details. that's what gets me every time.

My body is aching because I have not been exercising like I should but it's ok, I'm on the path to a better life.