After surviving Thanksgiving and not being in too bad of a state, I'm decided to try and upcharge my exercise with a goal of getting in 2000 minutes between now and midnight Dec 23rd. I got some yoga in yesterday though I totally crashed on my chair after dinner and spent the rest of the evening in a coma. But I did have a good, active four day holiday and yesterday at work it was SUPER busy so I truly was exhausted.

I still believe I can achieve 298 on Christmas Eve morning making my total loss 20 from Sept 10 to then. Not bad for an old lady.

Next year it's all about health and getting out of debt.

2017 will be the greatest year.

So today is the Saturday after thanksgiving and i weighed in at 306.2....
Im happy that i weighed less than last week but after seeing 303.8 on the scale Wednesday it was kinda hard to take actually...i ate off plan one day and i didnt think i did too bad but then friday mornings weight was 308.6...that was devastating so i ate good yesterday and walked around for a few hours downtown at the aquarium and what not and then did 56 laps in the pool last night...on top of the one mile walk i did thanksgiving....it was a lot of work for just one day of eating but i guess thats my life now....so i will really have to watch myself on christmas eve and christmas day...there is no more time off for me....its too high of a price to pay...the setback is too dilbilitating.
Food is not a reward..i am not a dog

Today is the day before Thanksgiving and I got on the scale this morning and saw a beautiful number.....I don't want to get to attached to it though because of tomorrow....but I just called the Y and they are open on Friday so I think I will get in some Friday night swimming to counterbalance tomorrow...I'm so close to my next reward goal, I'd love to be able to make that next Saturday the 3rd of December. Puts my 299 Christmas eve goal even closer and even more doable. 

Just need to keep my head down and stay focused. 298 puts me at a 20 pound loss. That would be the best christmas present!!! Why? Because I earned it. 

Slowly thinking ahead.....what would be reasonably possible for April when I go see my gram....286 maybe? which would be 32 pounds since Sept. 10th....

Everyone once in a while I kick around numbers and wonder where I will be at in a year...but I try not to get too wrapped up in that....for me I think it pulls me off track somewhat..

I've been at it for 74 days and I'm pretty proud of how far I've come and how much I've done....I will take measurements in the morning and see where I'm at...

Today I wore my Thanksgiving brown shirt...it fits, I'd prefer it a little looser but at least I was able to get it on and I can move around in it somewhat....

I won't wear it again till December 30th and see if I can tell any difference in how it fits. 

Keep movin....keep workin...keep achievin...

Ok so today I'm much more calmer than I was last night....sometimes I just get so frustrated when it feels like I have to fight to get two hours to exercise...I'm like really? Why should taking time to get healthier feel like such a struggle? Especially after the house is clean and dishes are done. I was upset and angry but I was determined to get to the pool regardless...and I did. 

I wish that I had enough strength and fortitude to be able to get the same vigorous workout on land that I do in the pool but I'm just not at that point yet. I will be if I just keep going...it may take a year or more but I can get there.

I did 52 laps in the pool last night which equates to 1300 meters. I"m about 460 meters short of a mile but if I stay on pace I will do my first mile right before Christmas....that will be a present for me. 

I got on the scale today and saw a beautiful number BUT considering Thanksgiving is Thursday I'll be quite happy if I just come in at the same as last week 306.6. I am watching my eating and exercising this week hoping to counterbalance any gain I may experience from the holiday. I'm working hard to be proactive and address the issue and devise a plan beforehand, not just deal with the destructive aftermath.

Bullshit

Sometimes it feels like you get treated like dirt by standing up for yourself because those around you are so used to walking all over you and getting you to put their needs over your own they cant handle it when you choose to be selfish and take care of your health.
Well fuck them.. thats part of how i got into this situation so if you have to treat me like trash to make yourself feel better...go ahead i dont care im still going to the pool

EWWW....everyone's difficult time for food is coming...the holidays...the season of splurge and plunder....the season of eating till we explode and gorging the table of sweets and savories that any other time of the year we wouldn't touch...the season of excess and indulgence.....the season to throw your commitment to exercise to the wind and pile on the pounds.....the season of eating freedom.....

Or so it seems because then it is followed by the season of "what the fuck did I just do?", we become trampled by feelings of guilt and regret....we step on the scale and make sounds of frustration, disappointment, and sadness...and I guess now I wonder why?

Why is putting excess junk in our bodies seen as a reward or gift or right?
We are not dogs...we should not reward good behavior with food. 
So I enter this week with a plan...eat like I do Monday-Wednesday, work out each day....thanksgiving walk in a relay in the morning and then eat to enjoy not to intoxicate. I'm thinking one plate, a few bites of each thing, no refills for at least 20 minutes to see if it is even necessary. And then one slice of pie and one of cake for dessert and that's it....

My goal is to break even on my weigh in the Sat after Thanksgiving.....

It's been a while since I've posted...not because I've been bad just because I've been busy. Lowering my salt intake has really been a benefit, I feel better, ache less, and my skin doesn't feel as dry. I took a few days off from exercise to heal...was having someone pain in my back upper right shoulder area and my knee but today I'll be able to get back on track. Hopped on the scale this morning and saw 307.....I was soooooo happy. Hopefully my swimsuit will be showing up tomorrow so maybe tomorrow night I'll be in the pool....
I need to keep doing what I'm doing

Nevermind my swimsuit came today so in a few hours from now I'll be in the pool....I love the water....

My next goal is to get to 303 and get a Jinx Monsoon towel as a reward....I'm really starting to believe I can get there sometime in the first 10 days of December.....argh....awesome!!! and 299 by christmas eve morning is possible...that would make a 19 pound loss since Sept...


I have given myself Thanksgiving as a day with no food journaling. I have to make a commitment to myself that it only lasts that one day though. I'm thinking I don't want to take a massive hit from that day and have it take 4 weeks to get back where I was beforehand...so not worth it....I'm keeping everything reasonably healthy for Thanksgiving....

Took a weight this morning instead of tomorrow since I was off work anyway........and 308 is what I'm down to...and I'm on my period too!!
Cutting the salt down is working so I'll continue on with that. Added walking to my exercise regimen and it's helping alot. 
Tomorrow I join the Y..now I just need a swimsuit.
299 by Christmas eve is possible....just keep working hard

This morning I decided to pop on the scale...just to see if I'm on track and how cutting salt is affecting my body. I have noticed changes, I seem to be happier, I have more energy, and my aches and pains are much less.
309.8 was the number staring back at me and I almost started to cry I was so happy.
Because I stood there this morning and thought 299 on Christmas Eve morning is really possible.
A little sore, I've walked 3 days in a row a mile or close to it each night with the puppies...had some shin pain yesterday so I'll take a break from walking and do something else tonight....I may need some insoles for my sneakers or just new gym shoes period.
Can't wait to get in the pool!!!!!

Today just a quick pop in.....we changed the clocks back Saturday night so I'm still getting used to that...how stupid.....we should stop....

Anyway, things are looking up...been walking the dogs and night and feels great...family will do a turkey trot on Thanksgiving...keeping an eye on my salt and so far it seems to be working....

LESS ACHES AND PAINS AFTER CUTTING THE SALT WAY BACK...makes you think????

Joining the Y Friday, it's looking good!!!

Feeling so much better about everything....I've spent two days tracking my calories and salt from morning to before dinner and I can feel the difference. 
this morning the scale was back down to 311.8 and I'm very excited about what the next seven weeks will bring as long as I stay consistent.... makes me feel very positive about the future. I believe I can make it to 299 Christmas eve morning.....

need to keep exercising and pushing myself to new limits.....
Losing weight is hard....being overweight is hard.....I choose which one I want to experience...

So today is slap in the face day....I get on the scale this morning and saw a number that sent me over the edge....I was at 315. I was totally confused...how can this be...what is going on...I'm eating good, exercising regularly....and then I decided to make a food journal and write down everything I eat. It's not even late afternoon and I can already see the issues. I was eating way more than I thought I was, drinking tons of calories and not working out and burning off as many calories as I thought. Well...shit....
First of all, after this last package of propel is gone no more of that.....though it is calorie and sugar free, it has 10% of the daily value of sodium....wtf....some days I drink three bottles...that means I've drank 30% of my daily salt before I even stuck one thing in my mouth to eat....not good....I've determined my body sucks at getting rid of salt.
Next, I drink a ton of calories every day, each cup of coffee with creamer is at least 140 calories.....I did learn this morning I can cut that down to 105 which I'm more comfortable with honestly. At lunch I would come home and have milk to drink, I would have a big glass of chocolate milk...that was probably 400 calories itself, I measured one cup of 2% and it was one third of what I normally drink at lunch. Then I would snack on mountain trail mix...you know the kind with the M&M's in it...yeah I was probably eating 300-400 calories in that alone. OMG this is certainly a wake up call but I do feel great because I realize that by journaling my food and exercise output, I could make my goal of 299 by Christmas/New Years.
I feel a bit of a fool, but I feel very positive about where I'm headed now.


ONWARD!!!

October was a very hard month, honestly I'm glad it's over. I'm not sure what is going on with my body. I didn't have a period for all of October, my last one ended on Sept 30th. My old phone that had my periods for the last 8 months or so on it got broken so now I'm just trying to figure things out. My weight for October was disappointing to say the least. I started at 313.4 and ended at 313.8 but yet my waist is smaller and I have more energy and I don't ache as much. With the old period tracker app it was correct within a day or two. Now I'm just struggling to discover am I gaining weight or is my period due? My eating this past week has been good, not great, I feel like I'm struggling with cravings but is it hormones or am I just being a fat ass cow? 
I took two days off work but I didn't get as much exercise done as I wanted, between the insurance debacle and editing April's thesis, I didn't have as much time for myself as I wanted....not a surprise. Also I slept in both days and though I really don't do that anymore it did feel kinda good. 
I had a big lunch at home, 2 eggs, some tortilla chips, milk, and a pan de muerta but it's ok as long as dinner is all I have. 
I do realize that I'm struggling with getting in my five fruits and veggies a day so that needs to be a top priority for November. Also getting back to having anywhere from an hour to two hours each day just for me is vital to my success. I have 52 days to get my weight under 300.....I would love just to see the first fucking number be a two, just a god damn two. 
Stay on target, stay focused. Make a plan. I think I may food journal from wake up time to before dinner and see what's happening there. I need to get in my five fruits and veggies before dinner that way the pressure is off and I already feel successful. 
It's a work in progress, it's an effort, it's a job but I'm better than I was on Sept 10th, and I'll be better on Dec 23 regardless of what the scale says.