Today is the hardest and by far, the worse day I've had. My weight this morning was abysmal, I gained weight and came in at 312.6. My knees, ankles, and calves are hurting very badly, I was limping as I walked around the store parking lot. Nothing is fitting right, I put the same pants on that felt so loose a few days ago and they were tight and uncomfortable. I feel very dejected today and had to fight all day not to stuff food in my face so I could feel better. The old man kept pissing me off, making comments about me getting stuff done for him, and I finally basically just said fuck off but nicer. Here's one, maybe I wouldn't be in this crappy situation if I had spent more time in the last twenty years telling you NO. No I don't want to do that or No, I need to make time for myself so you need to wait. No motherfucker, the answer is no. Then he got all butt hurt and I just shut down. Really? Why is it always about him....I love him but more times than not he's emotionally selfish. 
I need to do some yoga after dinner, I need the quiet the negative forces in my head. I need to work on not binging because food is not going to fix this problem. It never has....I can't do the same thing, it's just going to kill me.